Once before I posted on this topic (May 9, 2011). It seemed
to strike a nerve. Recently I decided to return to the topic by writing a piece
for Critique in the form of a letter
addressed to those who love Christ yet feel alienated from the church. I have
no illusions about what such an article can cover or accomplish, but I do
believe this conversation needs to continue. What follows is a brief excerpt
from that article, that letter.
I would love your honest feedback. What I include here addresses
only one part of the dynamic that is involved, but one that is worthy of some
reflection. I realize much more needs to be said—this is, after all, only a
brief excerpt. It is not the whole
letter. But I would love to hear your comments about what I write here:
An excerpt from a letter
to those who love Christ but feel alienated from the church:
…One thing you need to
know is that many church leaders feel threatened by you, by your dis-ease with
the church and by what you perceive as its failure. I know you have trouble
believing that since they hold all the power, but it’s true. They are honestly
puzzled by how anyone could have trouble with something they personally find
very edifying. They feel comfortable with the programs and classes, the sermons
and music, the potlucks and fellowship, and wonder why you don’t. What they
hear and experience week by week affirms their choice of what they believe and
where they worship. The more they attend the more certain they are correct in
their beliefs, and in a world that seems to be rather quickly unraveling that
certainty is something they cherish. They hear your critique and fear you want
them to be looser with doctrine. They see churches emerging that seem to be
progressively denying biblically orthodox teaching, and they feel obliged to
guard against that happening in their congregation.
Another threat you
represent appears when you seem less than pleased when answers are given to the
questions you raise. They are used to giving answers, like giving answers, are
good at giving answers, and are convinced the Bible provides answers, so what’s
the problem? Letting questions hang at the end of a study or class gives the
impression that the Bible doesn’t contain the answers or that their church
doesn’t know the answers it supplies. They want people to go away satisfied,
and they find answers satisfying. When you suggest that questions are good in
themselves, or that answers given too easily cheapen the truth they see the
church being weakened not strengthened.
The same goes for
correcting bad theology. It’s not that anyone is trying to be a doctrinal cop;
it’s just that bad theology is bad. They see correcting bad theology as a good
deed, a loving act for which people should be grateful. If you needed to find
Wal-Mart and someone gave you the wrong directions, wouldn’t you want someone
overhearing the conversation to correct them? Theology is far more important
than getting to Wal-Mart; it’s the directions for getting through all of life
and finally to heaven. So, when you suggest that that people don’t feel safe if
everyone is correcting every mistaken comment, they wonder why anyone wouldn’t
want to know the truth.
And then there are the
potluck meals. People like them. And people who like them have trouble
imagining why or how anyone who is halfway normal could possibly dislike them
or feel uncomfortable at them. And it’s sort of a personal thing. If you don’t
like potlucks you must not like fellowship, and that means you must not want to
fellowship with us, or with me. Which is why if you are spotted walking into
the parking lot after the service as the potluck is beginning someone will ask
why you aren’t staying and assure you there is plenty of food even if you
didn’t bring any. They can imagine someone ducking out over guilt at not
bringing a dish to share but they can’t imagine anyone leaving because they
find potlucks unpleasant.
This is why church
leaders get defensive when you try to talk about your concerns. Why they
usually respond by marshaling evidence that you couldn’t be correct and suggest
that you have a spiritual problem. Since so many found the class inspiring and
edifying, the fact that you found it deadening means there is something wrong.
Something wrong with you, that is…
Photos were taken
28 August 2011 at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. You can learn more about
this beautiful place here.
This entry was posted
at Monday, September 05, 2011
and is filed under
Christian faith,
Church,
Community,
Listening,
Relationships
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