Is suburbia one of the chief obstacles between us and true community?
The American Dream has morphed into an odd form of isolationism: we want a big house, surrounded by a big fence, and filled with all the things we think we need to survive and be happy. Is it any wonder that the more successful we become, the lonelier we are?
Read The Great Divorce. Lewis describes hell in very much the same terms we use to describe success.

It's a hard question to answer when you're talking about the church nationally. The nature of our relationship with the institution is that if it's good, it tends to bleed into the ordinary fabric of our day-to-day life and become assumed as normal. If it's bad, it stands out.

I think what you can say is that there are certain groups that the American church usually struggles to connect with: On the one hand, the cultural elite, such as artists, professors, writers, etc. They're not necessarily the wealthiest people, but they tend to have more social capital. And we tend to miss them. But the other group we tend to miss is the blue collar/lower class crowd. In Coming Apart Murray actually argues that college-educated whites are more likely to be religions than non-college educated whites. Given the whole reach-the-cities/we suck at reaching the elites narrative implicit in groups like Acts 29, the Keller wing of the PCA, and Hunter's book, that seems counterintuitive. But the more I think about my own experience, the more I suspect that Murray is right.

I resonate with Greg's point about suburbia. Geographic distance is a significant barrier to forming community. Another challenge are competing communities [church, school]. The best church communities I have been involved with were time-consuming with multiple meetings and gatherings during the week, or geographically close, where I saw people outside of church.

Greg:
Geography is, indeed, part of the issue. We are slow to notice that where we live shapes who we are, except on vacation if we happen to visit a cathedral. Lewis would agree with Walker Percy who spoke of those who were a success that failed at life.
Appreciate your comments,
Denis

Jake:
I just returned from a trip to Memphis, where my hosts mentioned that the church there tends to be segregated racially, even though some church plants were established specifically to address that issue. I sometimes wonder if our individualism holds us back, so that at root, the church is only as much community as we tend to gravitate towards personally, which is limited.
Denis

Snacks:
Geography and time--these do seem to be at root of so much, doesn't it?
Denis

Can the church be both? I think some communities are developing in rich ways, while others continue to alienate "outsiders".
I do think there is an interesting dichotomy, that I am completely observing, and have no facts to back up. It seems like authentic communities are becoming richer, while mega-"communities" are becoming more prolific. More people want to drink the punch than want to invest in other people. But those who do choose to invest seem to be creating tighter communities.
The nuclear family model is both an asset and a detractor from community, depending on people's social mores.
All the above comments ring true to me as well. I appreciate reading them.

Cassandra:
Good point, and one we should probably keep in mind whenever this topic is being discussed. The church can be both, and usually is.
You raise another interesting subject when you mention the family, and while most would find your assertion that it sometimes detracts from community, I agree. It really is a very modern invention, fueled by the industrial revolution and individualism. So many families I know I so centered on their immediate family that for them the world ceases to exist.
Thanks for joining the conversation.
Denis